


I'd Settle For One Day

by whisperedstory



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Costume Parties & Masquerades, Don't copy to another site, First Time, M/M, Pining, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 02:02:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20734424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperedstory/pseuds/whisperedstory
Summary: Tonight, at the masquerade ball, they can pretend. Tonight, nothing really counts... Except real life never works that way.





	I'd Settle For One Day

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by [Dancing_Adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift) ♥
> 
> With beautiful [art](https://dancing-adrift.dreamwidth.org/18086.html) by [Dancing_Adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift)! Please go check out the art post and leave Amanda lots of love!
> 
> Disclaimer: None of this is real. It's just a work of fiction.

Jensen catches a glimpse of himself in the full-length mirror at the end of the hallway. He slows his steps down a little, reaching up to straighten the lapel of his suit jacket. There's a black mask trimmed with golden embellishments covering part of his face and he isn't sure whether to feel silly or admit that it looks kinda hot.

He hadn't wanted to come tonight. Time off is precious enough and when he goes out he prefers having a few drinks at a bar and a game of pool. His partying days are long over, something he got out of his system during those first few years in L.A. before the club scene lost its shine and allure for him. And this is worse, because this is a _ball—_a small one, maybe, and hosted by his friends, so it's more good fun than pretentious, but it's still ball gowns and fancy suits. And masks. Everything about this is the opposite of what Jensen would usually pick for a Saturday night. 

But Jared had coaxed and wheedled, and Jensen had resisted his pleading eyes for as long as humanly possible—which, admittedly, hadn't been very long at all—before he'd given in.

The thought of Jared makes his stomach flutter.

He used to think he would get sick of Jared one day. That they couldn't work together five days a week and then spend most of their free time together as well without getting fed up with each other. But he never reached a point where hanging out with Jared didn't sound appealing. Quite the opposite. He's excited to hang out with Jared; at times he's down right eager to see him if it's been a few days. 

They flew in together this morning, parting ways at the airport since they both had things to take care of and agents to meet with. It's been nine hours. Nine hours without Jared and Jensen's stomach is doing flip flops at the thought of seeing Jared again. It's pathetic and unhealthy, but Jared is the best goddamn thing in his life, so Jensen has accepted that Jared has him all twisted up. Makes him needy and dependent and possessive. It's okay, because he knows those feelings are mutual.

Following the group in front of him down the hallway and into the small banquet hall, Jensen tugs at the mask unncessarily, adjusting it a little. The moment he enters the room, his eyes roam around.

Jared isn't hard to find. He towers over most people in the room and Jensen zeroes right in on him, drawn to him as always. What he sees makes Jensen's heart stutter in his chest. 

Jensen picked the plainest mask he could get away with, but Jared didn't go for subtlety. His mask is beige, or maybe soft pink, the top corners lined with feathers of the same color. It stands out against his tan skin and dark hair, and god, he looks beautiful. He's wearing a black suit, perfectly fitted, showing off his broad shoulders and slim waist.

Jensen licks his lips. He's tempted to stalk right over to him and claim Jared's attention, lure him away from the group he's chatting with. He knows he could, knows the moment he would brush up against Jared, Jared's focus would be only on him, the way it always is. 

But Jared is laughing, looking relaxed and happy, catching up with friends he rarely sees. And Jensen thinks he could really use a drink or two first.

So instead of heading straight for Jared, he makes a beeline for the bar and orders himself a whiskey on the rocks. 

He takes the first sip just as a hand settles on the small of his back and a body presses up close against his.

"Hello stranger," is murmured close to his ear, the familiar voice pitched low. "Come here often?"

Jensen laughs as he turns towards Danneel. She's wearing an emerald green gown and matching mask, her hair done up with a few loose curls hanging down.

"Hey, Danneel," he says. 

Danneel sighs and rolls her eyes. "You're supposed to play along. Masquerade balls are all about the thrill of anonymity." 

"Maybe you shouldn't have invited all your friends then," Jensen suggests teasingly. 

Danneel huffs and steals the glass from his lax fingers, taking a sip before handing it back. "We're actors, Jensen. We can pretend."

Jensen laughs again. "My bad. Let me buy you a drink, oh beautiful woman who I'm sure I've never met before."

"You already ruined the illusion, asshole," Danneel replies. "Chris is here, by the way. Somehow he's managed to find a mask even more boring than yours."

"Mine isn't boring. It's classic. Masculine," Jensen mutters. 

Danneel hums and smirks. "By the way, I have to admit I'm impressed. I know Jared is already here and you two aren't glued to each other's sides yet," she says. "How come? Trouble in paradise?"

"Despite popular belief, we're capable of being apart," Jensen snarks, finishing the rest of his drink. He catches the bartender's gaze and holds up his glass and two fingers, nodding at Danneel.

"Are you two still not fucking?"

"Danneel," Jensen hisses and looks around.

"Babe, it's the 'Who's Who' of the CW here tonight. Everyone here knows about you and Jared. Hell, most would probably be surprised to find out you're not screwing each other."

"Well, we're not and you know why."

Danneel groans. "It could ruin your friendship, which would ruin the show, yadda, yadda, yadda," she says in a bored tone. "And that's very admirable. But also incredibly stupid."

"Thanks for the input, Danni," Jensen says sarcastically. He nods in thanks and slides over a few bills as the barkeeper puts down two glasses . He picks up his glass and glances past Danneel's shoulder across the room to where Jared was when he came in.

Danneel pats his arm. "Go say hi to him already, I know you want to," she says. "But Jensen?"

"Hmm?"

"Remember, it's a masquerade ball. We're all strangers here tonight," she says with a wink.

Jensen rolls his eyes, but the words sit heavy in his stomach. _We're actors, Jensen. We can pretend._

In the time it takes Jensen to cross the room, an idea forms in his head. And maybe it's the alcohol he's been having on an empty stomach which is making him feel a little reckless, but maybe Danneel is right. Tonight, they all can pretend. Tonight, nothing really counts.

Jared spies him when Jensen gets closer and he watches him approach with a small smile, eyes never leaving Jensen even though the girl next to him keeps chattering. Up close, he can see that Jared's mask is light pink with silver glittery swirls along the edges. It's nothing Jensen ever would have picked out for himself, would have pegged it as too feminine, but Jared pulls it off. It's a stark contrast to his height and the width of his shoulders, making him look both masculine and soft, and there's something incredibly hot about the combination. A little different, sinful.

Jensen walks right up to Jared. "Hi," he says, and when Jared returns his greeting, he rests his hand on Jared's elbow and leans up to murmur into his ear, "I noticed you when I got here. You look beautiful."

He shifts back just enough to be able to look at Jared. The mask hides most of the blush, but Jensen can see the pink on his cheeks where the mask rests.

"Thanks," Jared says, sounding a little confused. Jensen licks his lips, stomach fluttering with nerves, and he tugs at Jared's elbow to pull him away from the little group he's been talking to.

"I'm Jack," he says when there's a little distance between them. 

Jared peers at him through his mask, his mouth pursed a little. Jensen wishes he could see Jared's entire face, read Jared's thoughts, but at the same time the masks make him feel brave. 

"Jack," Jared echoes slowly.

Jensen nods. "Are you going to tell me what your name is as well?" he asks, keeping his tone light.

"Jay," Jared replies after a brief moment of hesitation, and Jensen smiles up at him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jay," he says and holds out his hand, palm up. "Do you want to dance with me?"

Jared bites down onto his bottom lip, and when he doesn't reply right away, Jensen lifts his hand a little higher encouragingly. _Trust me_, he thinks.

Jared gives a nod and puts his hand in Jensen's. "You should lead," he mumbles, as if Jensen doesn't already know that Jared doesn't really know how to waltz. 

There are a good number of couples dancing in the middle of the ballroom and Jensen finds them an empty spot. They're close, and Jensen's heart is thudding in his chest as they get into position and he starts leading them into the dance. The first few steps are a little awkward, Jared's rhythm off.

Jensen gives his waist a small squeeze. "One, two, three," he counts as he leads Jared through the steps, until Jared finds the right rhythm. Jensen feels him relax and smiles. "See? Not so hard."

"As long as you don't try anything fancy," Jared warns.

"I won't," Jensen promises. "At least not out here on the dance floor." 

He hears Jared's breath hitch. "Jesus Christ," he mutters. "Je—Jack, what are we doing?"

Jensen licks his lips, gives himself a moment to think about his answer. "I'm not sure," he admits. "Right now, I'm dancing with a really attractive guy. And afterwards, I'll buy him a drink if he lets me."

"And tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow doesn't count. Tomorrow doesn't exist tonight," Jensen says and waits for Jared's reply with bated breath.

"Okay," Jared agrees in a soft, thoughtful voice.

Jared's cheeks and lips are pink and he's pressed so close to Jensen, he can feel the damp heat of his breath.

"Wanna go get some fresh air?" Jared asks. He has one hand resting on Jensen's shoulder and he clamps it down tighter for a second. 

"Sure, yeah," Jensen replies and steps out of Jared's personal space, but holds out his hand for him to take.

Jared smiles, dimples carved deep into his cheeks, and takes Jensen's hand. He's flushed and gorgeous, relaxed and playing along with Jensen's game after a couple of drinks and dancing. 

Jensen leads Jared through the room, side stepping groups of people, and out the french doors leading onto the patio. There's a sprawling garden behind the building and a few people are mingling out here. Jensen doesn't let go of Jared's hand, leading him further away from the building to where there are no other guests.

"It's a nice night," Jared notes as they stroll past a few trees and bushes. 

Now completely out of sight, Jensen stops and turns towards Jared. "More than nice," he murmurs in agreement. He reaches up and trails his fingers along the edge of the mask, over Jared's cheeks. 

Jared stays still, lets Jensen touch him with a small smile on his face. When Jensen's hand falls down, fingers brushing against Jared's neck, he sighs. "Aren't you going to kiss me?" he asks, and Jensen can hear the trace of uncertainty under the teasing tone.

It's all he needs. He curls his hand around Jared's neck, tugs him in closer and gets up onto his toes to press their mouths together. Jared makes a small noise, like he's still somewhat surprised by the kiss, and he clutches Jensen's waist as he kisses him back. The first few seconds are a little rushed, a little uncoordinated, and Jensen breaks the kiss only to go back in for another one, this one slower, smoother. Jared opens his mouth when Jensen licks at his lips, lets him inside, and all but melts against Jensen.

He's thought about this, so many times, but nothing could have prepared him for just how right it feels. A part of him is still worried, thinks they shouldn't, but just for tonight he pushes those thoughts away. Just for tonight he lets himself have this.

They part and Jensen stays close, presses his lips back to Jareed's once, twice, three times, before pulling away. "Jay. Come home with me," he says.

Jared exhales loudly, startled. He lets out a small laugh. "This is insane."

"Is it? People meet at parties and hook up all the time," Jensen says, desperate to cling to the illusion for a little longer. Just for the night. 

"Okay. Take me home, Jack," Jared agrees.

They don't talk about it, but the masks stay on. In the cab ride to Jensen's place and when they make out in the hallway for a good five minutes before stumbling upstairs to the master bedroom. They stay on as they kiss and touch and undress, suits falling in rumpled heaps onto the floor. 

When they're down to their underwear, Jensen pushes Jared onto his back and settles between his legs.

"God, you're gorgeous," he murmurs, sliding his hands up Jared's muscled thighs to his slim hips. The bulge in Jared's underwear looks almost obscene, the fabric stretching over his dick, wet where the tip must be leaking precome. Jensen leans down and licks over the spot, and Jared cries out and his hips shoot up. 

"Shh," Jensen murmurs, and pushes his hips back down, mouthing at his dick for a few moments before moving up. 

Jared makes a frustrated noise. "I want—" he starts.

"I know. Soon. Let me enjoy this," Jensen says, peppering kisses up Jared's stomach. He feels hot under the mask and he wishes he could just take it off, bury his face against Jared's skin the way he wants to.

"Tease," Jared mutters, but Jensen can hear the smile in his voice. He hums, swirls his tongue over Jared's navel and listens to his breath stutter, before he kisses a path up to Jared's chest.

He bites at Jared's pecs once, drawing a small moan from him, and runs his tongue over Jared's right nipple. Jared's chest is heaving under him, and the little nub hardens, and Jensen sucks at it. 

The noise Jared makes is somewhere between a cry and a whimper, and a wave of white-hot want washes over Jensen. 

"Fuck, you're so responsive," he says and lifts his head just in time to see Jared turn his face away. Shyly, embarrassed. It reminds Jensen that he has a lot more experience with this kind of thing—Jared is a relationship kind of guy and he knows he's mostly dated women. 

"Hey," he murmurs and shifts so he is eye to eye with Jared, cradling his face in one hand and turning it back towards him. "That's a good thing. I like that." 

Jared doesn't look quite convinced, chewing on his bottom lip, so Jensen leans in and kisses him softly. "You're perfect."

Jared huffs. "Okay. Overkill."

Jensen shakes his head and takes Jared's hand in his, guiding it down between their bodies and pressing it over his cock, trapped in his boxer-briefs. "I've never been so turned on in my life, Jay," he says honestly, and just the feel of Jared's hand on him makes arousal pool in his belly, his cock so hard he's aching. He can't wait to be buried inside of Jared, but at the same time he wants to drag this out, wants to do everything and anything with him.

He moans when Jared cups his hand around him, palming him first gently and then more firmly. He rubs Jensen through the layer of fabric, his breathing labored. "Want you," he says quietly.

Jensen nods and leans down to brush a kiss against Jared's lips. Then he grabs lube and a condom from the nightstand before sitting back.

"Still sure?" he checks, hooking his fingers under the waistband of Jared's boxer briefs, but not yet pulling them down.

Jared gives an awkward little laugh. "No consequences, right?"

"No consequences," Jensen confirms.

Jared licks his lips and nods. "I want this," he says.

"Okay," Jensen says and gives Jared a small smile before he starts pulling at the elastic. Jared lifts his hips, helps Jensen pull his underwear off. And then he's lying splayed out in front of Jensen stark naked, miles of smooth tan skin, his cock hard and red, straining towards his belly.

"God," he mutters, and runs his hands up Jared's thighs to his hips, feeling the warm skin.

"J—Jack," Jared says.

"Hmm?"

"Can I," Jared starts, hesitation in his voice. "I wanna turn around."

There's something in his voice, a tension that makes Jensen's heart hurt. He wants Jared to stay like this, wants to be able to look at his face—as much as he can anyway, with the mask— wants to see everything. But he understands why Jared doesn't want that. It's probably better, easier for them to keep up the pretense.

"Whatever you want," Jensen says, squeezing Jared's hip. 

Jared nods briefly and then turns around onto his belly, pushing himself up onto his hands and knees. As much as Jensen wishes they were doing it face to face, the sight of Jared kneeling in front of him has him groaning, his hand falling to his lap and squeezing his straining cock.

"Fuck, baby, you're hot," he says, and Jared shifts, angling his ass back more in reply. Jensen can't not touch him then and he reaches to palm Jared's cheeks, squeezing them and pulling them apart a little, licking his lips at the sight of Jared's entrance. 

"Are you just gonna stare?" Jared asks in a rough voice, and Jensen grins.

"You always this impatient?"

"Are you always this slow?" Jared counters, and Jensen laughs and grabs the lube.

He pours some slick onto his fingers, getting them wet, and then trails them down between Jared's cheeks to his hole. He rubs the ring of muscles, feels Jared clench and then relax with a small sigh.

"Okay?" he asks, adding a little more pressure without pushing in.

"Yeah," Jared says, and he shuffles his legs further apart. 

Jensen palms Jared's hip with his free hand and slowly starts easing the first finger in. Jared makes a small noise, but he stays relaxed, and Jensen sinks his finger all the way. Jared is incredibly hot around him, gripping him tightly and Jensen can't wait to feel him around his dick. He takes his time with this part though, fucking Jared with his finger until it glides in easily before adding a second, paying careful attention to any signs of discomfort. There aren't any though, and Jared makes quiet noises, rocking back into Jensen's touch. The third finger has Jared tensing a little, and Jensen rubs his side soothingly, letting him adjust to the intrusion before pressing in deeper. He thrusts his fingers in and out a few times, slowly until Jared relaxes around him.

"That's it, baby," he murmurs, and crooks his fingers a little. He brushes against Jared's prostate and Jared gasps loudly, arching back onto Jensen's fingers. Jensen is aching to replace his fingers with his cock, to feel Jared around him, but he tries to be patient, making sure Jared is good and ready for him before he pulls his fingers out.

He fumbles with the condom with slippery fingers, finally getting it rolled down his cock, and he lubes himself up before shuffling into position behind Jared. He grabs his cock, nudging the tip up against Jared's hole and then slowly presses forward. 

Jared tenses again, and Jensen rubs the small of his back.

"Relax, baby. Let me in," he whispers, his voice raspy. "Gonna make you feel so good, sweetheart."

Jared lets out a panting breath and Jensen sees him nod. His hair is damp, curling against his nape, and the soft pink strings of the mask are tied in a small bow at the back of his head, and his skin is glistening with sweat everywhere, tan yet flushed pink.

Jensen presses forward again and he groans when the head of his cock slips in. He grips the base of his cock, squeezing to stave off his orgasm. Jared is even tighter than he thought he would be, hot and slick with lube. Jensen gives them both a moment, for Jared to adjust and himself to calm down, before he slowly eases further in, sinking into Jared's heat inch by inch until his hips are pressed flush against Jared's ass.

"Fuck," he whispers harshly. "You feel so fucking amazing, baby."

Jared makes a noise, but it sounds muffled, like he's biting it back. Jensen leans over and kisses his nape, then the side of his neck.

"Are you okay? Is it too much?"

Jared shakes his head. "You can move," he says in a strained voice. "Please."

Jensen presses another kiss to Jared's sweaty skin and then draws back. He grips Jared's hips with both hands, pulls out a little and then slowly sinks back in. Jared doesn't tense up, doesn't seem to be uncomfortable, so Jensen pulls out and thrusts in a little harder, moaning at how good it feels. He rocks into Jared, picking a steady rhythm, fucking him deeply.

Jared dips down, pressing his shoulders into the pillows and burying his face in them, pushing his ass further out, and Jensen curses under his breath. He's not going to last long, and he grips Jared a little more tightly, starts fucking him a little harder. The noises Jared makes are muffled, quiet, but he arches back into Jensen's thrusts eagerly, beautifully, and Jensen has never felt anything as perfect as this, burying himself in Jared's tight heat over and over. Pleasure coils deep inside of him and he lets the moans and grunts spill freely from his mouth, mingled with slurred words of praise and endearment. 

He reaches around Jared, curling his hand around his hard cock, and that's apparently all it takes. Jared shudders, then clenches around him and he spills over Jensen's fingers with a muffled cry. 

"Fuck, baby," Jensen grunts and grinds into Jared twice more before his orgasm crashes over him as well.

He collapses forward, his weight pinning Jared down, their sweaty, sticky skin sliding together. He trembles through the aftershocks, rocking his hips into Jared sloppily and kissing his neck and shoulder.

Jared's face is turned now, flushed red, his mask a little askew. Jensen presses kisses to the exposed parts of Jared's cheek, his jaw, then the corner of his mouth. "So good. Fuck, you're amazing," he mumbles, and Jared just sighs softly in return.

Jensen pulls out carefully, then rolls off Jared with a groan, and pulling Jared into his arms, burying his nose in his hair.

_I love you_, is at the tip of his tongue and he grits his teeth to keep the words in, his heart feeling full and heavy at the same time.

When Jensen wakes up in the morning, Jared is gone. The sheets are rumpled, but the spot next to him is already cold. Jensen's mask has slipped up to his forehead and he bats it off with a groan.

He doesn't remember falling asleep, but he's a little annoyed with himself for drifting off so quickly, for not soaking in every moment he had with Jared in his bed, in his arms.

"Christ, Ackles. Get it together," he mutters, his voice raspy.

He groans and sits up, rolling his shoulders before slipping out of the bed.

"Ouch," he hisses when he steps on something. Jared's mask is lying on the ground, half under the bed. Jensen picks it up. Some of the feathers are bent, ruffled, and Jensen smoothes his fingers through them. 

Carefully, he puts it down on his nightstand and then shuffles towards the bathroom. He takes a long, hot shower, gets dressed and then makes his way downstairs for some coffee.

There's a note propped up against the machine.

_Thanks for the amazing night, Jack._

_\-- Jay_

Jensen doesn't see Jared again until Monday morning back in Vancouver, when they get picked up for work. Jared is already in the car, holding two paper cups of coffee. 

"Morning," he says, with a small smile, waiting until Jensen has settled down and buckled his seatbelt, before he hands him one of the coffees. 

"Morning, Jared," Jensen replies and takes a big gulp of the steaming hot drink, sighing happily. 

"Good weekend?" Jared asks, and Jensen can hear the hesitation in his voice. 

Jensen turns his head towards him, smiling a little sadly. Jared is right there and Jensen wants to reach out, wants to touch him, but he keeps his hands firmly to himself. "Best weekend of my life," he admits.

"Yeah," Jared agrees and turns away, looking out the window.

Filming starts off a little rocky. Jared stumbles over his lines, and Jensen can tell he's getting frustrated with himself quickly, and it throws Jensen off his game as well.

"Can we take five? I think I need a moment," Jared asks after a few takes, running a hand over his face.

The director nods and tells everyone they're taking a break. Jensen moves closer to Jared. "You okay?" he asks quietly.

"Fine. Just having a hard time focusing right now," Jared admits. "I need to get my head in the game."

"Okay," Jensen says.

"I'm just gonna," Jared starts and waves vaguely towards the stage exit. 

Jensen nods and claps Jared on the shoulder, letting him head off. He wants to follow, wants to offer comfort, wants to fix what's wrong. But he knows sometimes the best thing he can do is give Jared some space, let him try to figure things out by himself.

It's a good fifteen minutes before they resume filming and when Jared comes back, he looks a little less tense.

"Ready?" Jensen asks.

Jared rolls his shoulders, nods. "I just needed to straighten my head out a little. Too many things distracting me, you know?"

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and offers a small smile. "Hey, Friday night. Let's go out and get shitfaced, man."

Jared looks surprised by the suggestion for a moment, but then he laughs and nods. "Sounds perfect," he agrees.

_It's not a date_, Jensen reminds himself on Friday when they meet up at the bar. Jared is dressed casually in jeans and a hoodie, but he still looks good enough to make Jensen's insides twist with the longing to pull him close, to bury his fingers in Jared's hair and kiss him senseless.

"Shots," Jensen says, nudging Jared towards the bar.

Jared snorts, shoulders relaxing. "Yeah, shots," he agrees.

Jensen deliberately doesn't look at Jared as he leans over the counter when he orders, the fabric of his jeans stretching over his ass. They both knock back two shots before Jensen orders them a beer and some wings.

They find an empty booth, and a few drinks later Jensen finally feels loose and relaxed. 

It's just Jared. And yeah, he's in love with him, but that's nothing new. It's still just Jared, his best friend. He knows things about Jared now he didn't before—though god knows he's fantasized about them a few times—and the ache in his chest he sometimes feels around Jared is stronger now. But it's still _Jared_, and Jensen is happy just to have him in his life, in whatever form he can. 

"To friendship," he says, holding up the full bottle of beer Jared just got for him.

Jared raises his eyebrows. "Where did that come from, you old sap?"

Jensen shakes his bottle a little, impatient. "Don't leave me hanging, Padalecki."

Jared laughs and knocks the neck of his bottle against Jensen's. "To friendship. You idiot," he says.

After the initial hickup, they fall back into their familiar rhythm of working and hanging out off set. 

Sometimes, Jensen's mind strays to that night with Jared, what he looked like kneeling in front of him, what kissing him felt like, how right, how perfect it felt to sink into him. Knowing what it's like doesn't make things easier, but Jensen has several years of practice ignoring his feelings for Jared. Being head over heels in love with him, knowing Jared feels the same way, and refusing to do anything about it.

Maybe one day. When they wrap up the show, whenever that is. His stomach clenches with worry whenever he thinks about it, because there's no end in sight yet and what if Jared has moved on by then or, worse, found someone else? 

And there's a good chance that, even then, Jared won't be willing to risk their friendship. And Jensen will accept that, of course he will, but especially now that he's had Jared for a night, he can't imagine being with someone else.

Jared has had him completely turned around since the day they met. One dimpled grin and Jensen wanted to take the guy home and never let him leave, had decided right then and there that he would ask Jared out if the show wasn't picked up. Three years later and nothing has changed, except that the initial attraction has bloomed into something much deeper. 

And now. Now, even the thought of hooking up with anyone else or going on a casual date doesn't sound appealing to Jensen.

"Ever heard of an umbrella, moron?" Jensen asks, ushering Jared inside his apartment.

Jared shakes his head like a wet dog, droplets flying everywhere. "I parked across the street. I didn't think I'd get this fucking soaked within a few seconds," he says, making a face. "Can I borrow some dry clothes?"

Jensen nods at the door leading to his bedroom. "Pick whatever you like; you know where everything is," he offers."I'll get us drinks. Pizza is on the way."

"Perfect," Jared says, flashing Jensen a small, dimpled grin. He toes off his shoes before heading towards Jensen's bedroom, leaving them in the middle of the hallway. Jensen sighs and picks them up, putting them neatly next to the door before wiping his now wet palms on his jeans and heading for the kitchen. He gets two beers from the fridge, opening them both and taking a sip of his. 

He goes to sit on the couch, waiting for Jared. A couple of minutes tick by and Jensen finishes half of the bottle before he starts wondering what's taking Jared so long. He puts his beer down, wipes the condensation off on his jeans and then goes to poke his head into his bedroom.

"Everything okay?" he asks, finding Jared standing by his open closet. He's wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts, and Jensen's eyes widen when he sees what Jared is holding in his hands, soft pink strings dangling down. "Oh."

"You kept this?" Jared asks, his voice quiet. 

Jensen shuffles further into the room. "You forgot it at my place after we…"

"Yeah," Jared nods. "I, uh, couldn't find it and I didn't want to make a ruckus and wake you up."

Jensen grimaces at that and Jared's mouth pulls down into a frown.

"Not because...I just. I figured it'd be easier that way. Skipping the whole morning after."

Jensen sighs and takes the mask from Jared's hands, holding it carefully.

"It hasn't been easy, has it?" Jared continues in a whisper.

Jensen's gaze snaps up. "Wasn't before either," he points out. "Don't think these things ever are."

"Jensen," Jared starts, sounding so helpless. Upset.

And Jensen doesn't know how to make it better, but the need to comfort is almost overwhelming. Before he can think about what he's doing, he reaches for Jared, the mask falling from his fingers, and pulls him into a kiss.

There are no masks this time. They're not Jack and Jay this time. 

Jensen's fingers are fumbling with Jared's gym shorts before they even reach the bed, pushing the fabric down his hips and letting them pool on the floor. Jared stumbles, feet caught, but Jensen catches him with a laugh, pressing his mouth back to Jared's. 

When they reach the bed, Jensen nudges Jared down onto the mattress. For a second he pauses, stares at Jared sprawled out on his bed, gloriously naked and unbelievably beautiful.

"Jensen," Jared prompts, the word mumbled and his cheeks stained pink. It breaks Jensen out of his reverie and he hurries to get naked as well, stripping his clothes off and tossing them aside, before he crawls onto the bed with Jared. Jared splays his legs wider, makes room for Jensen between them, and it's enough to make Jensen groan. He lays down on top of Jared, their half-hard cocks sliding together between them and Jared bucks up.

"Baby," Jensen murmurs and kisses Jared again, sliding his fingers into his still damp hair, the way he couldn't the first time. He grinds down against Jared, their mouths sliding together wetly, and Jared meets his thrusts, sloppily, eagerly. 

They make out for a while, kissing all deep and dirty, bodies rocking together until they're both hard, precome making them slide together slipperily. Jensen feels like he could burst, heat in his belly and his balls tight. He breaks the kiss, panting, and Jared strains up to chase his mouth.

"Jensen," he slurs, and Jensen can't resist stealing another kiss, tasting that sweet, pink mouth again. Finally, he draws away completely and pushes himself up. He spits into his right hand and reaches between them. At the first touch of his hand around their dicks, Jared groans loudly and tosses his head back, eyes screwed shut.

"Fuck. Jensen, please," he begs, and Jensen starts stroking them. Neither of them are small and it's a little awkward, trying to keep both of them in his grip, his strokes choppy. Jared doesn't seem to mind, and Jensen keeps his eyes fixed on Jared's face, the way his cheeks are pink and when he opens his eyes again, they're dark and heavy-lidded, his mouth puffy and parted.

"Help me, baby," he says raggedly, and Jared nods. He curls his hand around them as well, hands making a circle together, and strokes them in tandem with Jensen.

"Feels so good," Jared pants, and Jensen echoes with a grunt. 

Jared comes first, gasping out Jensen's name around a series of moans, and feeling him spill stickily all over them sends Jensen over the edge as well.

He rests his forehead against Jared as he comes down from his orgasm, and when his breathing is a little less ragged he kisses Jared, hard and deep. 

"You're amazing," he mumbles against Jared's mouth.

"Jensen," Jared replies in a murmur. 

Jensen hums and then carefully rolls them onto their sides. Their legs are tangled, chests heaving, and Jensen drags Jared flush against him, fusing their lips back together.

He cups the back of Jared's knee, hitches it up high over his thigh, and then slides his hand up Jared's leg to the swell of his ass. He doesn't give either of them time to recover, and Jared seems more than happy with that, kissing Jensen back, touching Jensen and rocking against him. They make out and pet each other until they're both hard again, and Jensen thinks he could keep Jared like this forever—his cock flushed dark and his cheeks pink and his hair dishevelled. 

"You've got stuff, right?" Jared asks. 

"Of course," Jensen replies with a huff and a smile. He finds the lube easily in his nightstand, but he has to dig around for a condom a bit, buried under a couple of old scripts and other junk. His sex life has been pretty dreary recently—and the reason for that is right there next to him right now.

Finally, Jensen finds what he needs and settles back down with Jared. He kisses him, short and sweet, and strokes a hand down his back to Jared's hip and down his thigh.

"Tell me what you want," he murmurs.

Jared licks his lips, and Jensen's eyes are drawn to his mouth, soft and bruised from kissing. 

"Fuck me," Jared says. "However you want. Just—want you inside me."

"Hmm." Jensen strokes his hand back up slowly, stopping at Jared's ass. "Wanna see your face, baby. Wanna watch you while I fuck you, make you feel good."

He sees something pass over Jared's face, hesitation perhaps, but then he nods, giving Jensen a small smile. 

"Gonna make you scream," Jensen murmurs, and he finds himself needing that. Jared was quiet the first time they did this, and it's only now that he's making more noises that Jensen realizes that, and he wants to hear Jared. Every last gasp and moan and cry.

He uses every trick he knows to draw sounds from Jared this time, to make him lose his mind. He fingers him open slow and deep, brushing and rubbing against Jared's prostate until Jared is whimpering and writhing against him, three fingers buried deep inside of him.

"Feels good?" Jensen asks and Jared replies with a breathless yes, grinding back onto Jensen's fingers. "Let me hear you, baby. Love hearing how good I'm making you feel, Jared."

"God, Jen. Jensen, just fuck me," Jared pants, and digs his fingers into Jensen's shoulders as he undulates his hips, body seeking, wanting. 

Jensen kisses Jared hard and fast, and then turns him over onto his back, rolling on top of him. He gets himself ready, rolling a condom down his cock, flushed dark and straining up, and slicks himself up with lube, and then he pulls Jared's legs up around his waist. Positioning himself against Jared's entrance, he meets Jared's gaze, holds it as he starts pushing into Jared slowly. Jared accepts him more easily this time, still amazingly tight, but opening up to Jensen as he sinks in. 

"Fuck, baby. Taking me so well," Jensen murmurs.

Jared moans, hands coming up to grab Jensen's shoulders. "Jensen," he says, his eyes wide and wet. "So good. God. I've been thinking about this so much."

"Yeah?"

"Always. All the time," Jared admits breathlessly. "Been thinking about nothing but you."

"Me too," Jensen says, a lump in his throat at Jared's words, and leans down, brushing a kiss over Jared's lips. Propping himself up with one hand on either side of Jared's face, he starts moving his hips, rocking in and out of Jared. 

Every moan from Jared makes his heart thud, so turned on his head is spinning. He fucks Jared more slowly than the first time, determined for this to be different, for Jared to know this is more. 

They're both sweating and panting, gazes fixed on each other, and Jensen doesn't think he's ever stared at someone so intently during sex, would have thought it'd be awkward, but Jared is so stunningly beautiful. He's _Jensen's, _his best friend, his person.

Jensen comes first this time, and he's still trembling, pleasure coursing through him, as he pulls out and moves down Jared's body. He sucks Jared down, and he spills into Jensen's mouth within seconds, moaning his name.

Jensen wakes up sated and sore in the best way possible, the way only amazing sex can make him feel. He grins at the thought. After a long nap, Jared had managed to wring another orgasm out of him, riding Jensen hard and fast.

Jensen blinks muzzily and reaches behind him, trying to find Jared's body. But there's no one there and for a second, Jensen feels like a bucket of ice was poured over him. Then he hears something clatter, followed by a loudly muttered curse.

The door creaks a little as Jared pushes it open, two steaming mugs of coffee in his hand. He's limping a little, his face pulled into a grimace. 

Jensen can't help but smile anyway. Jared is wearing boxer-briefs and a hoodie, both belonging to Jensen, and the sight of him in Jensen's clothes does funny things to his insides.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Stubbed my toe," Jared says and puts the mugs down onto the nightstand. Jensen waits until they're placed down and Jared has let go, before he reaches for him and pulls him down onto the bed, halfway on top of him.

"Jensen," Jared complains with a laugh.

Jensen hums and kisses him. "You look good in my clothes."

"We didn't hang mine up to dry yesterday. They're still damp and smell a little funky."

"Well, feel free to wear mine whenever you want," Jensen offers with a grin.

"Possessive bastard," Jared says, his voice light, and Jensen doesn't deny it. Jared leans in, kisses him again, but he draws back after a second and rolls onto his back, his legs over Jensen's. "We should talk."

Jensen fakes a groan and runs a hand down Jared's stomach to the hem of the hoodie, trying to sneak his fingers under the fabric. Jared grabs his wrist, stops him.

"I'm serious," he says. "I made coffee. Figured you might need it."

Jensen's good mood vanishes and worry settles in his stomach. "Is this the 'thanks for last night but let's just be friends' conversation?" he asks.

Jared sighs and pulls his legs off of Jensen's, rolling onto his side. "Nothing has changed, Jensen. We're still doing the show."

"I'm willing to risk that. That's changed," Jensen says. He hasn't really thought about it, but when the words come out of his mouth he knows he means them. They've denied themselves having this for years, but the feelings brewing between them just keep getting stronger, and Jensen realizes he has reached a point where, if he were to choose between the show and Jared, he'd choose Jared. He'd choose giving this thing between them a shot, because he knows it could be something special. Could be forever. 

Jared chews on his bottom lip, eyes lowered. 

"You don't feel the same way," Jensen guesses quietly.

Jared's eyes snap up. "It's not about the show," he says firmly, almost angrily. "You're my best friend, man. I couldn't stand losing that."

Jensen deflates a little at the words. He cups Jared's face, strokes his cheek softly. "Jared, you know I don't want to lose you either. That would kill me," he says. "But I can't imagine not wanting you in my life even if we tried to date and it didn't work."

Jared's eyes slip shut for a second and he leans into Jensen's touch. "You think?"

"I know," Jensen says and gives Jared a small smile. "You're not gonna get rid of me easily, Jared. No matter what."

"Yeah?"

"Promise," Jensen says and trails his fingers over Jared's cheekbone. "So what do you think?"

"I think I'm obviously not strong enough to resist you anyway," Jared admits and then laughs wetly. "You got me all messed up inside, Ackles."

Jensen smiles. "Yeah, I love you, too, Padalecki," he replies and pulls Jared into a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can also find me on twitter ([@whispered_story](https://twitter.com/whispered_story)).


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